Lectionary Readings
O God, grant us the serenity to accept the things that we cannot change; courage to change the things that we can; and the wisdom to know the difference ☩ in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
As
much as we talk about love though, we don’t always define it well. Love is not
emotion, though it often evokes emotions. Love is not primarily about feelings.
Instead, love is about action. St. Thomas Aquinas says that love is willing the
good of the other. And that’s such a helpful definition. When you will
something, it becomes a priority, a commitment, an orientation. It’s not just
that we want good for others, but rather it gets into our wills. And what we
will for others is good – things like joy, peace, justice, and flourishing. One
theologian clarifies that when we will the good of the other, it is as other.
We don’t pursue the good for someone else so that we’ll look good, or so that
we’ll get a reward. That’s not love, that’s manipulation. So keep that in mind
– to love is to will the good of the other, as other. And this sort of love is
exactly what we see on the Cross and receive in the Eucharist.
With
this in mind, we can better hear the importance of St. Paul’s exhortation: “Owe
no one anything, except to love one another.” Let there be nothing between us
except mutual love. No posturing for power, no wrangling over wealth, no fighting
for fame. Have only love between us. And doing this fulfills the commandments
because it’s really hard to lie, cheat, covet, steal, or kill when you are
actively seeking the good of someone else, when you are loving them.
Of
course, as we all know, loving ourselves, God, and others can be a challenge.
Love is not something though that we have to create on our own, rather it is
always something that we receive. As we hear in 1 John, “God’s love was
revealed among us in this way: God sent his only Son into the world so that we
might live through him… God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God,
and God abides in them… We love because God first loved us.” The first move in
love is always receiving the full, perfect, and pure love of God, which we
often call “grace.”
St.
Paul writes, “Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the
flesh, to gratify its desires.” What is more gratifying than pride? Pride in
accomplishing or winning something? But God’s love is not something to be
earned. It is given to you as freely as your birth was. None of us chose to be
born and yet we have been gifted with life. In the same way, God loves us from
before the moment we were born. And that love is the truest thing about us.
Baptism is the sign of this love – it is the Church’s way of naming this love
and uniting us to God and one another in that love. And while Baptism is a
truly wonderful and gracious thing, because Baptism binds us to one another,
trouble follows.
The
thing about being Baptized is that we are made brothers and sisters in Christ.
In another metaphor, St. Paul says that we are all parts of the Body of Christ.
The ear, the hand, and the pancreas are all vital parts of the body, and the
same is true in the Body of the Church – we need those who prefer organ
cantatas and those who prefer guitars, those who treat Scripture with the
utmost reverence and those who point out how Scripture can be abused, those who
love incense and those who are wrong. Case in point. Because we are bound to
one another, trouble follows.
These
conflicts that arise are not unexpected, this is why Jesus addresses such
conflict in today’s passage from Matthew. Yes, we are to owe nothing but love
to one another, but sometimes we go into debt in that love relationship, don’t
we? To be clear about Jesus’ words here – they are more helpful to read as a
description and not a prescription. That is, this is not the three-step process
to reconciliation in the Church. That’s just another version of law, which we
sinners will never live up to. Remember, we are to owe nothing but love. And
that’s what this passage describes – how to kindle, or rekindle, love in the
Church.
A
few caveats about this passage – notice that Jesus says “if another member of
the church sins against you.” This is about sins committed against you, not
against someone else. The goal here is to bring into balance the ledger of love
between two people. This isn’t a process for determining whether or not a wrong
was done, who was at fault, or doling out punishment. Instead, this is about
making sure that it is only love, not resentment, that is owed between members
of the Church.
So
instead of there being steps to this work, we have values. The first value is
truth-telling: “Go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.”
Notice how that’s worded. It does not say, “If a member of the Church wrongs
you, go ahead and gossip about it and post it on social media.” Nor does it say,
“Stuff it down and hold a grudge that eats away at your soul.” No filing
lawsuits, no accusing, no shaming, no punishing. We are to point out the sin,
not condemn the sinner. You’ve, perhaps, heard about “cancel culture,” where
people are essentially excommunicated from their careers and social groups over
mistakes. Well, maybe that works on Twitter or in Hollywood, but in the Church
we don’t have the option of canceling anyone more than we do of cutting off a
leg because we stub a toe.
No, we are to go
and point out the fault to the person. One of the great modern-day theologians
is Stanley Hauerwas who has said that, if nothing else, Church should be a
place where truths are told and lies are not tolerated. This value of
truth-telling means that there’s no keeping things nice by saying “oh, don’t
worry about it, there’s no problem.” Too often, we rush to forgive people. We
say things like “Oh, it’s fine. Forget about it.” And while our intent might
not be bad, the result is that by ignoring the truth, we deny someone the
chance to be repentant. So we always begin by naming the hurt instead of
letting silence turn into shame or resentment.
The
next value is seen in the one being corrected – they listen. Notice, there’s no
explaining or contextualizing or making excuses. If I tell a racist joke,
there’s no explanation needed beyond an apology and restitution. Again, this
isn’t a description of how a courtroom should be run. It’s not about proving
your case, it’s about restoring a broken relationship. It can be hard to hear
someone tell you that you’ve hurt them, but that’s the holy work of love.
I
can tell you, as someone who has been on the receiving end of this sort of
corrective, this really is what makes the Church such a holy and necessary
thing in our lives. Throughout my life, I’ve made mistakes, and I can’t tell
you how much I’ve appreciated people, who respect and care for me, coming to me
to offer a corrective. When someone says, “We need to talk,” it’s not always a
fun opening line to hear, but it’s exactly what Jesus has in mind. On occasion,
I’ve preached sermons in which, while trying to toe the line between preaching
the Gospel and speaking about national politics, I’ve lost my balance and put a
foot on either side of the line. Now, one way that some people react to that is
to find another church. Or to stop coming. Or to stop giving. But that’s not
what Jesus would have us to do. Instead, we’re bound to one another. I can’t
tell you how much I appreciate when people relate to me, their priest, with this
value of community at heart. And the result is exactly the sort of loving
restoration that Jesus has in mind.
Sometimes
different parts of the Church speak to one another in these sorts of conversations.
Our black brothers and sisters in Christ are pointing out the sin of systemic
racism that has infected many denominations. Will we listen and repent? This
passage challenges us because we are not always the ones in the
pointing-out-the-sin position, sometimes we are on the receiving end. We would
do well to keep our ears and hearts open when our sins are the ones on the
table.
And
when this doesn’t go well, Jesus suggests that we bring one or two others along
with us to try again. This isn’t to “gang up” on the person, but it’s to make
it clear that this isn’t a matter of interpretation – a wrong really has been
done. Which means when we speak the truth in love, it really does need to be about
a clear wrong and not just someone having a different personality or style than
us. Witnesses are needed not to take sides, but to assist in naming the error.
Even after this,
if the person still will not see their wrong, Jesus says that we are to bring
the matter before the entire Church. For one, this tells us that sins are never
personal matters. When our actions harm another member of Christ’s Body, then
reconciliation is everyone’s business. The larger point though is that we are
to pursue reconciliation not because we want life without conflict or drama,
but because this isn’t a club. The Church is not a non-profit. The Church is
not a place to build nice friendships. The Church is not an institution to help
families in giving moral direction to their children. Yes, the Church may well
accomplish those things, and I’m glad for that. But we are the Body of Christ.
And anything that threatens to tear the Body apart has to be dealt with
seriously.
Jesus
makes this clear when he says that what we bind on earth is bound in heaven.
What we do as the Church really matters, so much so that heaven is at stake.
And with this sense of urgency, we are then, and only then, ready to read that
if the offender still does not recognize their fault, they are to be
excommunicated and treated as a Gentile and tax collector.
And
what are we supposed to do with Gentiles and tax collectors? Well, St. Matthew,
the person who wrote this account down, should know something about that. He
was a tax collector. And in the book of Acts, we see Gentiles, non-Jews, being
Baptized into the Body of Christ. Gentiles and tax collectors are seen as
outsiders not in the sense that they’ve been ostracized or rejected, but in the
sense that they are not yet brothers and sisters in Christ. Forgiveness has no
expiration date. Mercy has no boundaries. Jesus healed and redeemed plenty of
Gentiles and tax collectors, so this status does not mean that we are done with
them, rather that our work of owing nothing but love begins anew. Nothing
changes the fact that we always owe love to one another.
That famous line
from Scripture tells us that God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son
that we might abundance of life. That love is our identity and it is our
calling. God has first loved us and given us the Holy Spirit to empower us to
will the good of the other. Indeed, this is hard work, which is why Jesus
reassures that even when there are just two or three of us having these hard
but necessary conversations, he is with us. And if Jesus is with us, then love
is always possible. We are never done with each other. Maybe that’s good news
to you, or maybe it’s disappointing news, but it’s the Gospel. And, most
importantly, God is never done with us.
