Saturday, April 16, 2016

Seth Tinsley

Homily from Seth Tinsley's funeral
April 16, 2016
Readings: Isaiah 61:1-3; Psalm 42:1-7; Revelation 7:9-17; John 14:1-6

In the name of God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
            “Do not let your hearts be troubled,” says Jesus in the reading we just heard from John. But how can our hearts not be troubled? We gather this morning to liturgically mark the death of a great father, friend, son, husband, who died far too young. I know that my heart is troubled this morning, and I don’t think I’m the only one here who feels that way. As much as we may want it to be, faith is not an epidural to numb us from the pains of life. We’ve all heard the cliché that the way to move forward is to take things one day at a time, one step at a time. But how do we move forward with troubled hearts?

            The word that Jesus uses for “troubled” means something closer to “confused.” Jesus makes these remarks in the lead-up to his own death, and he’s trying to prepare his followers for that. He wants them not to be confused about what will happen. Jesus says not to be confused by believing in God. In Jesus’ day, “belief” had nothing to do with what you thought, but belief was all about what you loved. When you hear the word “believe,” think “belove.” The rest of Jesus’ story, from his arrest, to his trial, crucifixion, and death, is a story of love. Love is the way for us to move forward with unconfused hearts.
            For some of you, perhaps the love of God just isn’t something that you’ve experienced or identify with. For some, the love of God is the rock that gets you through times such as these. Perhaps it is the love of family and friends that gives you the strength to endure. However you experience love, it is the way forward.
As the Psalm that we read says, our souls long for God; and as Isaiah wrote, it is God’s intention to bind up brokenness. We are all broken in various ways; and especially today we are broken in grief, perhaps not knowing how to pick up the pieces of a heart that broke many times as we watched Seth through his final months. Love is the healing balm that soothes our wounds, even if it doesn’t do anything to prevent those wounds from happening.
            It has been said that “there can be no absence without first having a presence.” And Seth Tinsley had a tremendous presence in our lives; his was a presence of love. None of us had the exact same experiences of Seth, so as a way of honoring the gift of his presence in your life, take some time today to reflect upon how you knew and experienced Seth’s presence. Ponder how it is that you might honor that presence.
            Some of you knew Seth’s presence in the shop, or kayaking, or drinking beer with friends. Rachel and Clara have a father that was so fully present to them in love. Mary had a partner present in life’s adventures. Bonnie and Tony have a son whose presence was a true gift not only to their family, but to the world. Cate has a brother who presence growing up shaped her into the person she is today. Members of the Charlotte Fire Department knew Seth’s presence in their service together. We are all gathered here today because of the great presence that Seth had, and will always have, in our hearts.
There is a story that comes from the Zen Buddhist tradition. A man walks across a field and encounters a tiger, who begins to chase after him. The man starts running and soon realizes that he is heading straight towards a cliff, and so he slides over the edge and grabs onto a vine. He looks down and sees that another hungry tiger has come to wait for him to drop. He is caught between two great dangers. Then, a small mouse arrives and begins to gnaw on the vine that he is holding onto. Out of the corner of his eye, he then notices a ripe, red strawberry growing nearby. Holding onto the vine with one hand, he grabs the strawberry with the other and eats it. And how sweet it tasted.
It is the perfect metaphor for how Seth lived with cancer. One poet remarked, “I will die, but that is all I will do for death.” And that is the joy and courage with which Seth lived in these final years. Seth tasted the strawberries of life; he didn’t focus on the tigers. And more than that, he made sure that his family and friends tasted the sweetness of those strawberries. Not everyone faces their death with such grace, with more concern for their family than themselves – that’s why he was known as “Super Seth.” That’s the power of love.
Because Seth’s presence with us was so full of love, there is also a tremendous absence. Author CS Lewis, after the death of his wife, wrote “the death of a beloved is an amputation.” There is no doubt that there is, indeed, a profound absence. But absence is not nothingness. The sort of love that Seth showed us is not the sort of love that stops at death. It has been said that death is a horizon, and a horizon is nothing but the limit of our sight. Seth’s life has not ended, it has changed, returned to the love out of which it came.
In the Church, we sometimes talk about how there are different kinds of love – there’s friendship, there’s the sort of love that parents have for their children, there’s the love of two lovers, and then there is Divine Love, which is seen as the highest and purest of all the loves. And what distinguishes this Divine Love from the other sorts of love is its self-sacrificial nature. It’s the sort of love that looks death in the face and doesn’t blink. It’s the sort of love that is beyond measure or condition. It’s the sort of love that knows no boundary of time or space. It’s the sort of love that isn’t stopped by cancer or any of the “great ordeals” of life. And the name for a love that is this powerful and transforming is “God.”
So when the disciples aren’t really sure what Jesus is talking about when he says that he is going to prepare a place for them, Thomas speaks up and says “We don’t know where you are going.” And Jesus says that he is “the way, the truth, and the life.” It’s a statement steadfastness. This is the way we are to not be confused when something as confusing as death comes along. By saying that his way is the true way that leads to life, Jesus is affirming the power of love. Jesus’ life and ministry was one of love. His death was one of love. His Resurrection was one of love. His way of love is true in the sense that that though the body may die, love never dies. That is what the Church when it is at its best stands for: that Jesus’ Resurrection is about love’s conquering of pain, evil, and death. Sure, those things may still happen, but they don’t get the final word.  
What lies on the other side of the grave, I do not know; I haven’t been there. But what I do know- from seeing the power of the Resurrection here and now, from seeing the love of God manifest in the lives of so many people, like Seth; from feeling God’s grace in my own life; I can, with confidence, say that I expect God’s loving presence to follow us wherever we go. I am confident, that Seth, and all the saints are with God, whatever that looks like and wherever that is. The love that we knew in Seth came out of God’s abundant and infinite love, and because love endures, so too do our relationships of love. The love of God transcends space and time, even life and death. And so when Jesus tells us to follow his way, which is true, and that it leads to life, we can do our best not to let our hearts be troubled.

May God bless each of you this day. May God wipe away the tears of all who mourn the death of Seth: beloved son, brother, friend, father, husband, and child of God. And may the love that raised Jesus Christ from the dead be manifest in all of our lives, each and every day. Amen.