In the name of the Holy Trinity ☩ Amen.
What do you think might the be the book of the Bible that has been the most commented on throughout history? You might guess the Gospel according to John – after all, it’s full of symbols and signs that are ripe for theological harvesting. Or maybe Revelation, with all of its apocalyptic images, as it does require a lot of explanation. But in actuality, the book of the Bible with the most attention paid to it is the Song of Solomon. The book is eight chapters long, but the six verses that we read this morning are the only part of the book that shows up in our entire three year lectionary – so you’d be forgiven if you didn’t even realize that this most commented on book of the Bible was even in the Bible.
Why would a relatively obscure book of Scripture attract so much attention? Let’s look at how it starts: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine.” Ah, I can see why that might attract the attention of celibate monks. And if I were to continue quoting verses from this book of Scripture, I guarantee that you’d start blushing. The Song of Solomon is an erotic love poem, told from the perspective of two young lovers as they speak of their desire for one another and about seeing each other’s naked bodies. So you can see why so many commentators, in the name of faith, of course, have devoted so much attention to this book.
This love poem though has an interesting history of interpretation. As you might expect, those with Puritanical leanings have not liked the fact that there is an erotic love poem in the middle of the Bible. There were attempts to have it removed from the Bible, not only because of what is in the poem, but also for what is not in it. God is not referred to or named once in the entire book, nor are any religious rituals or ethical instructions. Pure and simple, it’s about the carnal desire of a young couple who is in love.
And so, for much of history, this poem has been understood by Jews to be an allegory for God’s love for Israel and Christ for the Church by Christians. Now, this poem may well have something to say about those relationships, but we can only understand what that might be if we start with the actual text. So before we get to the implications for our faith, we’re going to consider the erotic poem of the Song of Solomon. But don’t worry, my five-year-old daughter is sitting right back there, this isn’t going to be graphic.
It’s often noted that there are four types of love. The first is agape, which is described as the highest sort of love; it’s the love of Christ on the Cross. Then there is philia, which has been described as “brotherly love;” it’s the sort of love that you share with friends. There is storge, which is natural love rooted in fondness and relationship; it is the love that is found ideally in a family. And it’s not uncommon to hear a sermon about the love of God, or how we are to love our neighbors, or that our households are to be places of love. But there is a fourth love, eros. This love is about desire and is the sort of love that you “fall into” with your lover. And the Church tends to make one of two mistakes about this sort of love – either we focus on it, which tends to be what you’ll find in more conservative churches; or we completely ignore it, which tends to be what we do in mainline congregations. But neither the infatuation with or ignoring of eros is healthy or helpful.
Just look at our culture – erotic love is absolutely everywhere. Billboards, magazine covers, commercials, comedy, and movies all deal with erotic love on a constant basis, after all, that’s what sells. School psychologists, especially in middle and high school, have sounded the alarm about the unhealthy ways in which technology and the adult entertainment industries are shaping the way our children understand romantic love and their bodies, not to mention the issues that adults have with it. And throughout our culture, we’ve seen a series of scandals which all stem from an unhealthy and incomplete view of erotic love – the abuse scandal in the Roman church, the #metoo movement, and the reality that 20% of women in college report some experience of sexual assault. Clearly, we have a problem with erotic love in our culture. And the one place where we can actually talk about this topic in a safe and healthy way, the Church, is the one place that we’re too embarrassed to have the conversation. But the Song of Solomon is here to guide us.
Do you remember what it is like to fall in love? Your heart beats expectantly every time that you see your beloved? You were giddy with joy you were overcome with emotions beyond your ability to put into words. You’d hold hands and kiss in public, and you really didn’t care much about who saw it. That is the sort of love that we read about in the Song of Solomon. Erotic love is portrayed as a gift from God – one that is normal, natural, and beautiful. The two lovers in the poem rejoice in each other’s bodies. The last time in Scripture that a couple was naked in a garden was Genesis: “Then their eyes were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made loincloths for themselves… and hid themselves from God.”
Romantic and physical love is vulnerable, often accompanied by shame and unequal power dynamics. The way our culture approaches this sort of love often results in emotional pain, abuse, negative body images, and objectification. Like all good gifts from God, we have a way of corrupting them. In the Song of Solomon, what we see is that both the man and the woman are equal partners. Sometimes, as in the reading we had today, we hear the woman’s desires and longings for her partner. In other places, it is reversed. It is a relationship without shame or coercion. And it is a relationship full of passion, mutual invitation, and eagerness. Our intimate relationships can be one of the holiest encounters we have with another person, but we have to recognize intimacy as a holy and beautiful gift from God, not something to be ashamed of or exploited.
When I meet with couples who are preparing to get married in the Church, one of the things that we talk about is power. In all healthy marriages, power is not hoarded by one person in the relationship – it is shared. Power shows up in three primary ways: decision-making, money, and intimacy. In those three areas, if one member of the couple has more power than the other, the relationship will suffer. As the Body of Christ, we need to think and talk more about how the bodies in the Body of Christ relate to one another. How is power shared? Do we spend enough time and attention on cultivating passion, commitment, safety, and mutuality in our intimate relationships?
The Church also has a long history of sticking our heads in the sand and pretending that these questions about erotic love only come into play after the wedding. Our faith has plenty to say about intimate relationships both before and within a marriage, but again, so often we blush before we have that conversation. Or sometimes the conversation devolves into a list of rules, which is probably the best way to kill any sense of passion and joy in intimacy.
Too often, when it comes to our faith, erotic love is viewed as a problem to solve, an urge to manage, an act to be embarrassed about. Instead, what the Song of Solomon calls us to do is to celebrate the gift of our bodies, the gift of intimacy, the gift of passions and pleasures. And so I would encourage to you speak to your lover, if you have one, about your understanding of your physical relationship. If you don’t have a lover, but anticipate having one in the future, think about how you want to approach that relationship. If you are called to celibacy, consider how intimacy can be cultivated in non-physical ways. If your spouse is no longer alive, you can give God thanks for the intimacy that you shared, knowing that the intimacy was an expression of the love that you still feel for your beloved. If you are a parent, when it comes time for you to talk about your children about this topic – prepare to do it from a place of faith and joy, not from a place of shame or obligation. Teach your children about what difference their faith makes in how they view their bodies and their relationships. And if you have questions about how to do that, let me know and I can point you to some resources or help you in preparing for that conversation.
The Song of Solomon, as Holy Scripture, also points us to something beyond human intimacy; it has something to say about divine intimacy. Just as the lovers in this poem desire each other, so too does God desire us. We are sought out by God. God wants to be known by us, not for God’s benefit, but for our own, that we might know just how deeply and fully we are cherished and loved.
And just as the lovers in the poem long for each other and anticipate being with each other, our desire for God is something deep within us. St. Augustine once said that our hearts are restless until they rest in God. In our lives, we spend so much time looking for the next best thing, the thing that will finally give us peace and make us happy. The joy of the Gospel is that we don’t have to search for that which will give rest to our weary hearts, rather we just allow ourselves to be embraced by God’s love for us. Just as the lovers in the poem speak of their anticipation, desire, and passion for each other – those are hallmarks of a lively faith.
As we prepare to receive the Eucharist, I invite you to think about this sacred meal in an erotic way. Perhaps you’ve never been encouraged to think about Eucharist erotically, but it is a meal fully of intimacy. Just listen to the words: “Take, eat: this is my Body which given for you.” The Eucharist is a carnal experience in which we are invited to take God’s very body and put it in our mouths. This is a holy, intimate, and beautiful invitation that Jesus extends to us. We pray that this sacred meal unites us to Jesus and to one another in both physical and spiritual ways. When else is that you share bread and drink from the same cup as so many other people?
So as we set the table for Eucharist, as you approach the altar to receive the Body and Blood of your Savior, focus your attention on your desire for God and know that God desires you. Desire will be different for each of you – some of you desire to know God more fully, some of you desire to know of God’s love for you, some desire healing, some desire faith, some desire peace. Pay attention to the yearning of your heart. Ask God to meet you in your desires. Pray that you might receive the Eucharist as the loving and intimate act that it is.
And as you go forth today, you might read through the Song of Solomon this week – it shouldn’t take more than about 15 minutes to read it. By knowing that erotic love is a gift from God to enjoy in safe, mutual, and passionate relationships, we will be better able to live in this society which has unhealthy views of intimacy. And may you always know of God’s intimate love for you, that your heart might find its rest in your desire for God. Amen.
