Homily from Seth Tinsley's funeral
April 16, 2016
Readings: Isaiah 61:1-3; Psalm 42:1-7; Revelation 7:9-17; John 14:1-6
In the name of God –
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled,” says Jesus in the
reading we just heard from John. But how can our hearts not be troubled? We
gather this morning to liturgically mark the death of a great father, friend,
son, husband, who died far too young. I know that my heart is troubled this
morning, and I don’t think I’m the only one here who feels that way. As much as
we may want it to be, faith is not an epidural to numb us from the pains of
life. We’ve all heard the cliché that the way to move forward is to take things
one day at a time, one step at a time. But how do we move forward with troubled
hearts?
The word that Jesus uses for “troubled” means something
closer to “confused.” Jesus makes these remarks in the lead-up to his own
death, and he’s trying to prepare his followers for that. He wants them not to
be confused about what will happen. Jesus says not to be confused by believing
in God. In Jesus’ day, “belief” had nothing to do with what you thought, but
belief was all about what you loved. When you hear the word “believe,” think
“belove.” The rest of Jesus’ story, from his arrest, to his trial, crucifixion,
and death, is a story of love. Love is the way for us to move forward with
unconfused hearts.
For some of you, perhaps the love of God just isn’t
something that you’ve experienced or identify with. For some, the love of God
is the rock that gets you through times such as these. Perhaps it is the love
of family and friends that gives you the strength to endure. However you
experience love, it is the way forward.
As the
Psalm that we read says, our souls long for God; and as Isaiah wrote, it is
God’s intention to bind up brokenness. We are all broken in various ways; and
especially today we are broken in grief, perhaps not knowing how to pick up the
pieces of a heart that broke many times as we watched Seth through his final
months. Love is the healing balm that soothes our wounds, even if it doesn’t do
anything to prevent those wounds from happening.
It has been said that “there can be no absence without
first having a presence.” And Seth Tinsley had a tremendous presence in our
lives; his was a presence of love. None of us had the exact same experiences of
Seth, so as a way of honoring the gift of his presence in your life, take some
time today to reflect upon how you knew and experienced Seth’s presence. Ponder
how it is that you might honor that presence.
Some of you knew Seth’s presence in the shop, or
kayaking, or drinking beer with friends. Rachel and Clara have a father that
was so fully present to them in love. Mary had a partner present in life’s adventures.
Bonnie and Tony have a son whose presence was a true gift not only to their
family, but to the world. Cate has a brother who presence growing up shaped her
into the person she is today. Members of the Charlotte Fire Department knew
Seth’s presence in their service together. We are all gathered here today
because of the great presence that Seth had, and will always have, in our
hearts.
There is
a story that comes from the Zen Buddhist tradition. A man walks across a field
and encounters a tiger, who begins to chase after him. The man starts running
and soon realizes that he is heading straight towards a cliff, and so he slides
over the edge and grabs onto a vine. He looks down and sees that another hungry
tiger has come to wait for him to drop. He is caught between two great dangers.
Then, a small mouse arrives and begins to gnaw on the vine that he is holding
onto. Out of the corner of his eye, he then notices a ripe, red strawberry
growing nearby. Holding onto the vine with one hand, he grabs the strawberry
with the other and eats it. And how sweet it tasted.
It is
the perfect metaphor for how Seth lived with cancer. One poet remarked, “I will
die, but that is all I will do for death.” And that is the joy and courage with
which Seth lived in these final years. Seth tasted the strawberries of life; he
didn’t focus on the tigers. And more than that, he made sure that his family
and friends tasted the sweetness of those strawberries. Not everyone faces
their death with such grace, with more concern for their family than themselves
– that’s why he was known as “Super Seth.” That’s the power of love.
Because
Seth’s presence with us was so full of love, there is also a tremendous
absence. Author CS Lewis, after the death of his wife, wrote “the death of a
beloved is an amputation.” There is no doubt that there is, indeed, a profound
absence. But absence is not nothingness. The sort of love that Seth showed us
is not the sort of love that stops at death. It has been said that death is a
horizon, and a horizon is nothing but the limit of our sight. Seth’s life has
not ended, it has changed, returned to the love out of which it came.
In the
Church, we sometimes talk about how there are different kinds of love – there’s
friendship, there’s the sort of love that parents have for their children,
there’s the love of two lovers, and then there is Divine Love, which is seen as
the highest and purest of all the loves. And what distinguishes this Divine
Love from the other sorts of love is its self-sacrificial nature. It’s the sort
of love that looks death in the face and doesn’t blink. It’s the sort of love
that is beyond measure or condition. It’s the sort of love that knows no boundary
of time or space. It’s the sort of love that isn’t stopped by cancer or any of
the “great ordeals” of life. And the name for a love that is this powerful and
transforming is “God.”
So when
the disciples aren’t really sure what Jesus is talking about when he says that
he is going to prepare a place for them, Thomas speaks up and says “We don’t
know where you are going.” And Jesus says that he is “the way, the truth, and
the life.” It’s a statement steadfastness. This is the way we are to not be
confused when something as confusing as death comes along. By saying that his
way is the true way that leads to life, Jesus is affirming the power of love.
Jesus’ life and ministry was one of love. His death was one of love. His
Resurrection was one of love. His way of love is true in the sense that that
though the body may die, love never dies. That is what the Church when it is at
its best stands for: that Jesus’ Resurrection is about love’s conquering of
pain, evil, and death. Sure, those things may still happen, but they don’t get
the final word.
What
lies on the other side of the grave, I do not know; I haven’t been there. But
what I do know- from seeing the power of the Resurrection here and now, from
seeing the love of God manifest in the lives of so many people, like Seth; from
feeling God’s grace in my own life; I can, with confidence, say that I expect
God’s loving presence to follow us wherever we go. I am confident, that Seth,
and all the saints are with God, whatever that looks like and wherever that is.
The love that we knew in Seth came out of God’s abundant and infinite love, and
because love endures, so too do our relationships of love. The love of God
transcends space and time, even life and death. And so when Jesus tells us to
follow his way, which is true, and that it leads to life, we can do our best
not to let our hearts be troubled.
May God
bless each of you this day. May God wipe away the tears of all who mourn the
death of Seth: beloved son, brother, friend, father, husband, and child of God.
And may the love that raised Jesus Christ from the dead be manifest in all of
our lives, each and every day. Amen.
